fresh picked whimsy

This message is for you...

i think everyone needs to be reassured from time to time.  This new print is available in the shop now, and it will remain at a lower price than my other prints, to make it a little easier for you to share with others. 

Be at peace, my friends. ♥

Healing

So, i'm just jumping back in here.  Yes, i'm still here.  It's been a very busy few months.  We have been getting Mark's parent's home ready to sell.  It has been a very big undertaking.  Where do you even begin?  Packing up, giving away, keeping, honoring and sorting through a lifetime of love?  So many treasures and memories.  It's overwhelming.  I'm thankful that my mom and mark's brother were able to devote so much time and energy to the task with me.  The house went on the market yesterday.

We still have much to do.  We were in a hurry to take advantage of the spring market, so we packed much of their things and brought them over to our house.  There is still a lot of sorting to do.  I've never felt more motivated to get my own home organized in my life.  {the main reason i have been absent here}  I have a new clarity about the worth of things...and a new appreciation for letting things go.  I'm very sentimental and have always been a keeper.  But, after this experience i want so badly to pare my possessions down to what is truly important and meaningful.  When you really examine what you own, and you look at it from that perspective, it's easy and liberating to purge the excess and make room in your life for what really matters. 

I'm using the same approach when it comes to my health and the health of my family.  We ate our way through our grief.  Comfort food.  'nuff said.  It's time to prioritize and get serious about it.  And honestly, it feels good.

Through it all, we have been surrounded by love.  From both friends and family.  So much kindness and support and understanding.  I am STILL writing thank you notes.  Having been on the receiving end of this outpouring of love, i just want to say that every little message, hug, smile and gesture has meant so much.  I know how awkward it is...not knowing what to say...how to say it.  But, just know that it all helps.  I only hope and pray that i can be that kind of light for others when they are in need. 

As early as i can remember, my grandmother and mom have both always had a candle on their countertops in their kitchens, which they would light as an offering in prayer...in the midst of their busy everyday lives.  i think it's a Catholic thing, primarily, but i don't see why anyone can't do it.  Whatever is on your heart...light a candle and say a prayer.  It's that simple.  My grandmother had these big chunky candles that would melt over time and eventually would reveal a plastic Virgin Mary statue.  as a kid, it was kinda magical and i loved them.  i have continued this tradition and often buy those tall, colorful Jesus votive candles in the Mexican food aisle in my grocery store.  My store also sells some that are simply clear glass and i of course only see that as a blank canvas. 

So i made these...

I found those words on Pinterest, but i don't know their origin.  If anyone out there does, i would love to credit them.  It sooooo speaks to me.  I have put them in my etsy store because i posted that picture on instagram and was happily surprised at how much interest they got.  They're sparkly and pretty and hopefully encourage prayer.  They're available here.

I pray that you all know how much i appreciate you and that you are blessed with much happiness!

Here's to happier days ahead! xo

 

Hurry back to me

 We laid her to rest one week ago.  She is whole again, without dementia, reunited with her one true love and our Lord...in peace.

Death is so much harder on the living.  We are so happy for them...and so sad for us. 

 We never were able to fully grieve for my father-in-law as we so quickly jumped into caring-for-Mom mode after his passing.  We are still in shock that he is gone...and now her.  It is natural, for grown children to lose their parents eventually.  However, typically they lose one at a time and they are able to grieve that first loss with the other parent, and comfort each other.  That's been the most difficult part of this, i think. 

We are going to be ok.  I know this for sure.  We have faith and we have love.  Now, we simply need time.  Healing will come in time.

♥

a most precious tender mercy:  a very special visit

The weekend that my father-in-law, Joe had his inital surgery, Mark and I stayed at their home caring for them both.  Two days after surgery, Mark brought his Dad back to the hospital where we learned that he had suffered a heart attack.  That night as i was walking my mother-in-law (who had no idea that he was gravely ill) to the bathroom to get her ready for bed, she stopped short of her bedroom door.  She looked off in the distance towards the front hallway, which was very dark.  She asked me what was going on over there.  I looked and didn't see anything.  I told her there was nothing over there.  She kept staring, wide-eyed and with a look of confusion on her face.  I didn't think anything of it, as she was often confused, until she turned her face back to me and excitedly said "i can't wait to tell you what i just saw!" 

She was giddy and breathless, trying to find the words, which often failed her.  But, she was determined to explain to me in detail what she saw.  She told me that she saw three people.  She said they wore long, white gowns as she pulled at her nightgown to help show me.  Then she couldn't find the words to tell me what they were doing, so instead she acted it out.  She began to mime that they were digging. She explained to me that there were two big black things on the ground...huge black holes. 

Oh my heavens. 

Tears streaming down my face.  My mouth agape. 

Then she says, "...and then they told me, "Everything's going to be alright!"...isn't that wonderful?!"  She was so unbelievably happy.  "I just couldn't wait to tell you!", she said followed by a huge sigh of relief. 

I quickly got her dressed for bed, brushed her teeth and washed her face.  She couldn't stop smiling.  Meanwhile, i'm in shock and awe... 

She took her walker and practically glided into her bedroom.  Normally she would have gingerly eased up slowly onto the mattress, one leg at a time.  But, on this night, she bounced onto her bed on both knees with the enthusiasm of a little girl who just saw Santa Claus on Christmas Eve.  I tucked her in and kissed her good night and the smile never left her face.  The next morning, she had no memory of the events of the night before. 

But, i did. 

At that time i thought, how wonderful that God would send her this message and comfort her at this dark time.  But, in hindsight, i really think this message was sent for us.  He gave her enough clarity to be able to deliver that message to me on that night, which i knew was a very dark time, but she did not.  He was preparing two places in heaven for them and letting us know that everything was going to be alright. 

Our God is an AWESOME God.  We are so blessed.

 Ruthann Simons McDonough

11/12/29 - 1/31/14

a love poem, written by Joe to Ruthann, before they were married:

 ...a true love story on this Valentine's Day 

tender mercies: feathers

Thank you for your kind messages and prayers for my family.  They have meant so much. 

My faith teaches me that God is always with us.  I believe that with all of my heart.  Throughout this very difficult time for my family, we have also experienced some wonderful things.  These little wonderful moments, which are seemingly to us, magical.  But they are in fact, not magical at all.  I know that they can only be little tender mercies from God.  They have comforted us and given us hope and because of that, i thought i would share them with you. 

Feathers

Our dogs love to sleep on our bed. 

One day in December, i was scratching Sunny's belly while he was lying on our bed.  i must've hit the sweet spot for him because i really got his leg going.  So much so that his paw and nails ripped a hole through the cover of our down comforter.  Feathers were flying everywhere!  Truth be told, the comforter was about 10 years old and had worn pretty thin.  It didn't help that the duvet cover was in the wash and i just had a light blanket over it.  Like i said, feathers everywhere!

Well, in the chaos of the holiday and my mother-in-law's decline, i didn't have time to replace the comforter and because i don't know how to sew, my engineer hubby duct taped the hole.  It was very hillbilly, but we put a cover over it and hoped to just make it through Christmas that way. 

Nevertheless, feathers made their way all over our house.  Little, tiny, fluffy feathers.  I would vacuum and then they were back an hour later.  They were driving me crazy.

And then one day while looking at Pinterest, i saw this quote, which i had never seen before...

 {illustration by Jane Lee Logan}

To be honest, the first time i read it, i didn't give it much thought at all.  Then i saw it a second time later in the day.  It kind of felt like someone hit me over the head.  I felt like it was a message straight from Heaven. 

And it made me so very happy. 

I understand that there is a perfectly logical explaination of why the comforter ripped and why i'm finding feathers all over my house.  It's the timing of it all that seems to be Divine to me.

a little tender mercy when we needed it most.  i'm so thankful for it.

i'll have more to share...soon.

{new print in the shop} 

somewhere between grief and happiness

hi...it's me.

Remember me?

i've attempted to write this post a half dozen times now.  i always end up deleting it.  Man, i don't want to be a Debbie Downer.  This blog is my happy place.  I've really, really missed it.  I've missed you, too.  I've gotten your messages.  Your very sweet messages of concern for me and my absence from here.  I didn't mean to make you worry.  But, thank you.

So, this is the condensed version of why i haven't been here... 

Right after Halloween, my father-in-law had what we thought would be routine surgery to have his gall bladder removed.  What we've learned since then is that no surgery is routine when you are 83.  Two days after surgery, he suffered a heart attack.  What followed was a cascade of devastating complications and ultimately resulted in his death 2 weeks later. 

We were left in disbelief and deep sadness.  This man.  This incredible, wonderful man...devoted husband, loving father, adoring grandfather went from here to gone so quickly.  It still feels so surreal two months later. 

{the Guinness toast to my father-in-law on the day of his funeral}

There is more to this story. 

You see, my father-in-law, Joe was full time caregiver to my mother-in-law, Ruthann.  Ruthann suffers from severe dementia.  Together they lived a quiet and happy life, independently, just a mile up the road from us.  He fed her, bathed her and tended to her every need.  As her memory declined over the past few years, he often told us that he believed this was his purpose in life...to care for her.  When his surgery was scheduled, he arranged for her to stay at a memory care nursing center for a 2 week respite stay while he would recuperate.  Upon his death, we made her a permanent resident of that center.

We never told Ruthann about Joe's passing and felt that if ever there was a silver lining to this terrible disease, it was the fact that she would never have to grieve the loss of her husband.  But, somehow, incredibly, she knows.  Shortly after his death, she began to withdraw and became less interested in eating and talking.  Just after Christmas she got really sick and we had to hospitalize her.  She had a pretty serious blood infection.  She was treated, healed and released from the hospital but she is not thriving.  She wants to sleep 24/7 and isn't interested in food.  We and the doctors believe she is letting go.  She is now receiving hospice care and our only focus is on keeping her comfortable untile she can be with her beloved Joe in heaven.  We have been told by many doctors and nurses that this is quite common...when a husband or wife dies that the spouse passes shortly after.  We were told that grief can manifest into a physical illness and that you really CAN die of a broken heart. 

And so, here we are.  On this journey of grief and love and family and blessings and sadness and happiness and gratitude.  We have been completely enveloped in this bubble of love from our family and friends.  We have been cooked for and cared for and hugged and wrapped up in a blanket of compassion from all who know us and have loved us and Mark's parents.  We could not be more thankful than we are. 

 
{just some of the food that was made for us by our neighbors}

Yesterday the kids FINALLY went back to school after Christmas break and an extra week due to the blizzard we had.  For the first time in a month, i was in this house alone...with my thoughts and my dogs.  I had put my business basically on hold when Mark's Dad went in the hospital in November and it's been on hold ever since.  I fulfilled my etsy orders for the holidays but cancelled my holiday open studio. And, as you know...i haven't blogged since October. 

I know that getting back to work will be healing for me, although it's difficult to heal when the wound is still open.  So, i'm going to take baby steps, if you'll allow me to.  I will try to get back to blogging, although it may be sporadic.  I am still filling etsy orders as they come through, but haven't made anything new in ages.  Not feeling particularly fresh picked or whimsical right now, but i know it will come.  Mark's parents were WILDLY supportive of me and my art...it was my father-in-law who bought me my first wacom tablet and would often surprise me with the latest and greatest electronics like an ipad, a new computer or a giant monitor.  He was a daily reader of this little blog and they always told me how proud they were of me.  I have been so blessed to have them in my life and to have been loved by them.

We are taking it day by day.  Thank you for not giving up on me.  And if you would be so kind as to lift Ruthann in prayers for peace, we would be so grateful.  Thank you.

{Mark with his parents and brother at their 50th anniversary party in 2007}  

♥

 

prayers going up

God bless Oklahoma ♥

Easter blessings

I'm so thankful for my Savior, my family and a glorious Easter.  This week was extra special for us because Riley served {he is an altar server} during all of the celebration masses throughout Holy Week.  We are so very proud of him and his deep faith. 

I captured the cross in front of our church on Good Friday with just a little bit of the sunset in the sky.  It was so beautiful!

We celebrated on Easter at my parent's house.  There's always an egg hunt in the backyard, but the threat of rain moved it inside this year.  I love that my teens are still game for the hunt...

My nephew Cole examining his finds...

I love this picture of Mark's parents!

 

and our beautiful moms together...

We all pitch in for a great big brunch.  This was just a bit of it...

These crocuses bloomed in my yard for the first time last week on the day before we had 8 inches of snow.  I thought they would never make it and i thought about cutting them and bringing them inside.  But, i didn't.

Then, three days later, after the spring snow melted, these lovelies re-emerged as beautiful as ever.  It made me think of the hope that was lost on the original Good Friday and the joy that the world experiences every Easter Sunday!  I hope you had a wonderful Easter too, my friends.  I am thankful for you!

sending my heART and love to Newtown

I love how social media makes this world a smaller place...allowing us to "meet" people, who by virtue of geography, we otherwise may never have crossed paths with. 

This time it was via Instagram that a mom of a couple of Sandy Hook School students reached out to me.  She asked me if i would be willing to donate my art to a brand new gallery in Newtown, CT called Healing Newtown...A place to heal through the arts.  It will provide a place for the community to come and reflect and enjoy the art that has been sent from all over the country and the world.  The space will also hold performances and workshops and art therapy classes for any and all who would like to participate.

Yes.  Absolutely.  My pleasure.  My honor.  With all my heart, yes!

Specifically, she asked for this painting, which she said spoke to her heart...

and so...my original painting is on it's way to Newton now...

with my love and prayers for healing...

 God bless you, Newtown.

♥ 

Got my vintage fix

...for now, anyway.  Last weekend the Indie Arts & Vintage Marketplace came to our little 'burb, and i'm pretty sure most of Carmel showed up to check it out.  It was mobbed.  There was a fist fight brewing over my parking spot when i left.  Don't mess with a chick who's trying to get her vintage on. LOL!

I met my sister Susan there for some browsing and shopping and this event did not disappoint.  There was some seriously good stuff there.  Prices were reasonable for the most part and people were buying.  Lots of sold signs on things and we got there when the doors opened!

 

These tiaras found my niece Megan...a girl can never have too many tiaras.  Right?

 
I lurved these amazing, huge, salvaged galvanized metal hearts.  i mean, you know me and hearts.  Alas, they were too pricey for my post-Christmas wallet, so i settled for a happy medium.  But, i did grab their card because i will dream of these until i get one.  {mark says we could make one, but i just think that project would end in his and hers tetanus shots}

These vintage drawers made my heart stop...and the price made me swoon.

it was so crowded that it was hard to take pictures.  But, i did take a picture of my purchases when i got home...

there's my heart (not illuminated, but i still love it!), the rusty white utility cart will be another color one day soon, the feed sack will become 2 messenger type bags for Susan and i, the five is from a grocery store and represents my family of 5 and finally....that drawer!!!!

It has a great story behind it, too...

The antique dealer i bought it from told me it came from a religious supply house in Indianapolis that recently closed their doors after nearly 120 years in the business. 

 And, this drawer held medals of saints.  Hello...Catholic girl here...you had me at saints.

I LOVE that this was the former life of this drawer. 

At the show, next to this drawer was a bowl full of these prayer cards...

 

Of course i bought one for 50 cents.  When i got home i looked St. Roch up on the internet because

1.  i'm fascinated by the saints

and

2.  my high school french is rusty... 

Turns out, St. Roch is the patron saint of DOGS!  Can't help but think there's a bit of divine intervention going on here.  St. Roch, pray for my little tripod doggie...

and his furry brother who puts up with his nibbly, puppy antics so patiently...

I bought some felt to attach to the bottom of my holy drawer {ok, it's not holy, but that's what i will be calling it from now on! Ha!}  I traced the bottom of the drawer on the felt and glued it and some felt gliders, too.

and now it lives on the bottom shelf of my coffee table holding magazines and newspapers and making me oh, so happy.

Not quite as noble a life as it used to have...but a respectable life, indeed! 

The year of me!

Brand new print in the shop to kick off a brand new year! 

Happy New Year, friends!  Wishing you all the love and happiness and hope that a new year brings!